So how you doin’?

So how you doin’?

Jan 28

Well guys I’m one month and two days out from gastric sleeve surgery.
I feelin wonderful to be honest with you.

So to all those considering surgery here’s my personal list:
~I went back to work (teaching) one week and two days after my surgery. I teach art (sculpture) and my job is moderately physical with lifting-so I had to get the students involved with lots of the cleaning/lifting of the classroom.

~The most difficult part of the whole process was not being able to lift and carry my 10m old son for the first 2 weeks. But I was able to play with him on the floor and sit with him so it wasn’t as hard as it could have been.

~I have a very VERY large container of clothing I can no longer fit into waiting for a goodwill trip. Which puts into concern buying new clothes for temporary usage-I’m going to thrift the majority of it-I can’t see myself spending lots of money on outfits that I won’t be needed for long.

~I’m still searching out a protein supplement that I like and is practical for everyday. I’m going to run and get MAX protein this weekend as many in the forums have suggested it. Eggface calls it her daily addiction.

~My husband and I joined a wonderful gym in our community and have been going pretty regularly. I found that racquetball was a bit to drastic for me so I substituted aqua aerobics instead which is my new love.

~I’ve gotten sick only twice once from the pain medicine the first day I was home and the latest slap was created by an evil slice of salami. Yes, I said salami. I knew it was wrong but I just wanted it. I should have known it was pure evil from the way it coated my fingers in a layer of grease. But NO I didn’t listen and I paid the price -nausea, pain, and a few good hours of just feeling crummy. Not worth it. I learned my lesson.

Inches lost:
Neck 1.5
Bust 4
Torso 2.5
Hips 5
Thighs .5

Total weight loss:
44 lbs. (yeah me!)

All you need is a Shopvac and a Drop cloth

All you need is a Shopvac and a Drop cloth

Jan 16

The economic slump brought out the best and worst in all of us. Everyone had to rethink spending and take a good look at the personal economic forecast they had (yes, I watch Susan Orman today). Well people, now that I’ve spent $38,117.72 of my insurance companies money I would like to present an alternative for the “Can do” generation.

You. Yes you! Can hop on good ol Amazon and buy yourself a Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass Kit for the lowdown cost of $258.95 and people that’s for a set of three. Wow! Who knew it could be that easy?

My favorite is the reviews check this one out-
By sfhock – See all my reviews
This review is from: Medline Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass – DYNJS0303 – Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass – Qty of 3 (Health and Beauty)
Finally! My dream to open up a home Laproscopic Gastric Bypass business can become a reality!! I’ve got several cases of Reddi-Wip and a ton of dry ice, so the anesthesia is covered. My two basset hounds are fully trained in emergency medical and operating room procedures, and as an added bonus will be more than happy to clean up if a patient forgets the pre-operation fasting instructions, and gushes burritos all over the floor when we cut the hole for the scope. We’ll be doing a practice run on the neighbors newborn (he’s only 3 days old so they haven’t formed much of an attachment yet in case things don’t go so well) and then I’ll be ready!! Call now for an appointment, because my introductory rates will NOT last long!!

By David M Lewis – See all my reviews
Here I was, borderline Guinness Book, and no health insurance. Did I vote democratic? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got down to business. The tricky part was anesthesia, but nothing a Mickey’s Big Mouth and a couple of roofies couldn’t handle. Next thing I know, I had a wrap on the old tummy, and I wasn’t hungry! Even for wraps!

Trust me, I couldn’t finish a whole mung bean if I wanted to, and I can’t even think about popsicles!

Get this!

Pre-Surgery Bariatric Shopping List

Pre-Surgery Bariatric Shopping List

Jan 15

Well I’m going to tell you the things I felt I needed in my cabinet. Everyone is different. I was concerned over having a stock of protein I could easily ingest. My mother (who had open gastric bypass four years ago) gave me several different powders to try.

Nature’s Best – Isopure Rtd Zero Carb Drinks (which are have become my favorite) I bought every flavor at a health food store I haven’t found anything I don’t like and at 40g per bottle PLUS 20oz of liquid they take a good pie slice out of your daily needs

New Whey Liquid Protein Vials (a big mistake on my part)

Beneprotein Instant Protein Powder

Body Fortress Whey Protein Powder

Tylenol Extra Strength Pain Reliever & Fever Reducer, Liquid Cherry Flavor 8 fl oz (240 ml) ( which I found hard to find) apparently it was involved in the Tylenol recall

Lil’ Drugstore Products Pepcid Complete (my doc gave me a prescription for it-Famotidine)

Dulcolax Stool Softener-good times with that, see I got the 180 bottle. What the heck was I thinking? I found I didn’t don’t need it

Flintstones Children’s Complete Multivitamin Chewable Tablets to start- although I’m going to get some higher quality bariatric ones really soon such as I talk with the nurtritonalist on Wends I’ve heard lots of people prefer Bariatric Advantage I might go with that

High quality lip moisturizer – after surgery your lips will be very chapped

New awesome power surgery socks with grips – Paul Frank does everyone good

Some loose pj’s but I found I didn’t need them as pj’s just make me feel ill

Torani Variety Pack to make all make and manner of recipes on The World According to Eggface

The cookbook: Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery (which I haven’t used yet)

GNC On the Go Blender

And that’s it people. Not a whole lot. I’m sure I could have freaked out and gone nuts on all sorts of things but really….am I not about ten minutes to the closest Wal-Mart? Do I not have people surrounding me that would be more then willing to go out and get things. Honestly, I was up and shopping about three days after surgery no need to have everything on hand all at once. You might enjoy the need to go out and get something.

Licking the Ass of a Cupcake: A Review of New Whey Protein Bullets

Licking the Ass of a Cupcake: A Review of New Whey Protein Bullets

Jan 06

If Strawberry Shortcake had some sort of wicked website where you could pay to get off on all your icing related fantasies this company would have a banner front and center.
Sweet. Nauseatingly sweet! Ugh.
When I was 10 I went to a traveling fair and I was able to buy and eat as much cotton candy as I could in the time we where at the fair. By night fall I was vomiting a river of sugar. I haven’t had the desire for cotton candy since. This stuff, for me was that river of sugar.

I bought said “bullet” because I was thinking the size of my stomach would be so small with after surgery that every bit of nutrients I get should be packed into the whatever I ingested. This small little package offering 42g of protein in 3 oz seems like the best bang. It would be if you lost your taste-buds in some freak circus accident.
I’ve heard it’s better if you dump it in water. Who knows.

I’m not going to buy them again. But you might want to give them a shot.
Cost: $27.62 via amazon for a box of 12 ($2.30 each)

Amount Per Serving:
Calories 176
Total Fat 0 g
Saturated Fat 0 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Sodium 64 mg
Potassium 31 mg
Total Carbohydrate 2 g
Dietary Fiber 0 g
Sugars 0 g
Protein 42 g

Ingredients:
67.4% pure deionized water, 31.5% Actinase (patent pending blend of enzymatically hydrolyzed collagenic protein isolate, whey protein isolate and caseine protein isolate), less that 2% of malic acid, vitamin c,b3,b5,b2, b1, folic acid, biotin, and b12, natural flavors, sucralose, blue-1 and red 40.
Yes, the internet can turn up anything. Here’s a copy of the recall in 2009 which cited the product was found with knifeblades inside. Now that’s the type of crackerjack prize I’m proud to find!

Noooooo Wheeeeeeeeeyyyyy! dude, I just found a knife blade

I need rules! I need guidance! I need .pdf files telling me what to do on a weekly basis!

I need rules! I need guidance! I need .pdf files telling me what to do on a weekly basis!

Dec 21

The countdown has begun to spin and with the madness of the holidays it feels like my surgery will be tomorrow. I found a few more valuable nuggets of wisdom on the internet I would like to share. Here are three different diet plans from three different doctors/clinics. Make sure to follow what your prescribed plan is from your doctor. I’m just providing this information to give an overall understanding of eating/recovery plans.

Cornell Dietary Guidelines for Sleeve Surgery

Maine Medical Center Nutrition Guidelines for Gastric Bypass (but I feel it still has some good information in it for sleevers)

Post Op Diet Sleeve Diet from the Nicholson Clinic

Surgery prep

Surgery prep

Dec 20

Well I had my pre-op visit with Dr. Nicholson and this week (yes, the week of Christmas) I’m going to go in for all my pre-op testing which only includes (to my surprise) an upper GI and blood work. Surgery is scheduled for Monday the 27th. I can’t believe it’s already here.

My pre-operative diet has been going well and I’m already down 8 lbs. Dr. Nicholson has me on a 1200 calorie diet which includes 5 Slim Fast shakes a day with a pretty healthy and surprisingly large dinner of 5oz lean meats and 2 cups veggie. I’ve found that I really like the sugar free Carnation drinks but for some reason they are a bit hard to find in my local stores so I’m sticking with the Slim Fast which I’ve found the Cappuccino Delight to be the best out of all of them. Although the drink falls VERY VERY short of a good Cappuccino if you close your eyes and pretend you can imagine yourself in a roadside coffee shop surrounded by other people also pretending to be drinking something close to quality coffee. It’s not horrible but not fantastic at the same time. I haven’t felt hungry at all which is a big surprise.

I feel good. Going to the store today to buy everything I will need for the first three weeks after surgery.

My 1200 Calorie Liquid Diet